6/7/10
Today is deadline day and when you think about it, it is both prophetic and closure. Why? Because Charley is the one who told R three weeks ago that I would give him a deadline. He knew his deadline, before I even knew I needed to give it to him. While I would love to tell you everything I know, I cannot– nor will I– but know this, that now the effect of knowledge has been set in motion and the ripple will eventually become the swell, and the swell the wave that shall reach the shoreline in its own time and bring with it, its own repercussions. There are still those shadows in between the ripples themselves that have hidden issues tucked within the curled lip of the wave. But even they with patience and review will bare fruit. In the absence of disclosure, I was desirous of still granting you all some favor of my efforts, so I went back to the beginning of this blog and found a passage that speaks to the heart of where I now stand.
“…It is very interesting how this all happened. An aside note: my personal belief is that God places people in our paths at the direct hour of our necessity. I have been trying to outline and research this case for months in between my real job and in doing so, found a lack of clarity in my path. At first I was concerned that it might be the famous writer’s block we all hear tell of, but no…That makes little sense as I tend to vomit in ink on a daily basis. I decided it was for a much more important reason. The delay was not in me, but in the character. And since this is based on a real individual, I realized the delay was his—the deceased. There was something or someone that needed to be introduced to me before he could find his voice through me. Being a firm believer that if a story refuses to tell itself, it is for one of two empirical reasons. Either someone is not ready to tell it, or someone is not ready to have it heard! Now on the face of the thing, you might say aren’t they one in the same? The answer is… no, they are not. A story is the life of a character who is allowing a writer to channel his autobiography and until consent is granted by the character… nothing moves ahead. Charley was not talking to me and it bothered me. Was I an unfit vessel for such a thing, I wondered. And yet, after all these years… had not the stars aligned just so, to place us all in each other’s paths in an attempt to elicit such results? Once I had decided that– it became tolerable. I was listening, but he wasn’t speaking. I picked up the proverbial pen many times and yet he refused to speak and I did not understand why until I met these two people. I have an appointment at the end of this month with them and I cannot tell you how enthralled I am to find momentum once again to this project. Through the insights of these two, I am certain I will find my path and his pain and know what direction the winds will carry us both…”
They did help.
I found his pain and now know the direction it will take us all.
For you Charley… all for you.
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