8/26/10
I tried to warn Charley that once classes began for me, my time away from work would be eaten up by study time and homework commitments; that writing and research for personal use would be at a premium price time wise and even opportunities for such would be at an all time low. Thus, the lag in blogging. That’s why I asked for information ahead of time. Ok, pleaded or perhaps even begged (!) is probably more appropriate, but since I did receive minimal feedback for my efforts I do not wish to appear ungrateful. So thank you…
This has been an awkward time for me with so many things in a state of fluctuation and unrest, that I have tried to seek solace in solitude and studies. In essence, I am trying to exhaust every hour of my day so that there is no measure of downtime long enough in which to experience further sense of uncertainty. I am becoming incarnate the words of Rod McKuen’s, “Caught in the Quiet” and am not all that happy about it! So once again, I have thrown it up to the skies and tried to deal only with the dirt beneath my feet. To stand on terra firma and deal only with what I can quantify and touch. Because while I try to remain open and tuned in… I have become exhausted that agendas and time tables for all parties are not the same. I am moving at a faster rate than the information I require and so frustration ensues, which of course is always bad.
I need to remind myself that information appears as I am capable of processing. That to ingest amounts beyond my capacity at this point, means to disgorge with violence something that may provide me with just what it was I was seeking in the first place. Patience… patience and trust must continue to be my mantra. Would that my subconscious would get that through my head!
Yet even though I am certain no one could have possibly been enthralled in my pitiful attempt at nobility, I was duly rewarded out of pity. Out of the blue- (though nothing is ever really just out of the blue), I received an invitation to further research sources yesterday afternoon from the most innocuous of places. Do I love how this works??? Heck yeah…Grateful, I return to my previous tid bit and try to move forward. I received confirmation that my female energy known as “Rox” was taken out of the picture before Charley was killed. This combined with another clue of the date; September 29th brings me to a more possible correlation. That puts her “misfortune” at 10 days prior to Charley’s. The MOT’s exactly 6 days after. That makes the information that may have been included on the “mystery tape” between Charley and ____________of much greater significance.
Interesting what you can put together with just a few pegs of information, isn’t it?
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