9/25/10
It has been a fascinating week for me. I was honored with a speaking engagement, an award for a programming effort and opened a great show. My grades are still good and while the homework is daunting in so far as time commitments… I am still on track and continuing to manage my time accordingly. Besides Charley’s Birthday, this week also brought me another gift; the gift of introduction. Two introductions in fact. One to someone who I hope will be instrumental in helping me find out who Rox was and the other whom I hope will be instrumental with attaining a personal goal. Oddly enough, my life report for this month told me that I would receive an award for a past effort. I assumed it had something to do with my book and not the theatre. Who knew?
Life is such a mystery and I am always amazed at how things manifest themselves in my life. I cannot speak for others and how the universe connects with them. Most people are so bound by their experience and by their perception of that experience that they forget to look for the lesson it came attached to. As a species, we make life so complicated. It is our blessing and our curse to do so. My blessing and my curse is an insatiable appetite for information and wisdom. “Curiosity killed the cat” they say and no doubt one day you shall hear of my own and when you do… be certain to listen carefully for that tiny Meow that may follow- for this cat does not always know when to keep its nose clear of certain things.
And that begs the question- when is enough, enough? I now think I can pretty much put all the pieces together in a plausible fashion; even though certain specifics evade me. But that’s not the point. I cannot begin to put pen to pad in earnest until I get the go ahead from Charley and while he teases and tickles at my outline, he has yet begun to set me free from research. Is it because it is still in the end of a nine year that I must wait? Or is it that there is something more I have yet to learn about in regards to the questions still unanswered?
Questions like:
Why the baking association to Rox? Who is young Theodore who gifts her and then is never mentioned again? Who exactly are the “four in flannel” who were there that night in the room with her? Or rather… I think I can vouch for two- it is the remaining two that give me pause. Why did Chance not go for outside help on this? Why did the grim reaper manipulate so many deaths and then have the audacity to stand so tall in a church pew? Why have others continued to chatter when some have gone silent? Who was the man who drove the fire truck? Who is the mother whose child fell down a ravine? Who owned the small fishing boat that heard and saw things he dare not tell others?
While some clues erupt and some fade, they continually make a circle and come back with a vengeance. No doubt they will continue to present them to me until I find the segue. It is ok by me. I am busy just now- patience is currently possible only due to fatigue and exhaustion. But do not think that you are safe- those of you who wait with baited breath to see what I know and what I have already shared with others.
Months ago I was told that I may find more information from an older woman with a foot or leg injury who may have more information for me. R reminds me the most important thing to remember is trust. Trust that they will provide information that is useful and trust that I will find the connections when I need them or when they are right. Thursday I found both. We shall see what I am able to harvest of them each!
Another reading presented the date of September 29 as significant. I initially thought perhaps this might be a piece of throwback information to 1966. Maybe attached to Rox somehow- maybe the night she was assaulted and left for dead. Or maybe it is about a contemporary conference where my first book is being displayed. Perhaps it is even attached significantly to something that happened this week. Either way, the mantra is to trust. Trust that there is reason and cause for all that comes into my path. Trust that I have been chosen to receive information for good and not for evil. Trust that I am wise enough to know what to do with it all in the end. So the question remains; is a clue a clue only if you figure it out? Or is a clue still a clue, even if you have yet to find its connection?
Since “curiosity killed the cat”, I shall listen to the quiet meow inside my head that tells me when I am too close to a suspect for comfort… or just far enough away for safety and “Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…” in the meantime to keep you all guessing! I will get what I am looking for- make no doubt about that!
Until then, I shall wait like a small child at the top of the stairs; frightened that Santa may find me awake and spying on him, yet equally frightened that he may come and I might miss him because I fell asleep!
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