9/4/11
Part of my
personal dilemma is job related and theo other- home related. As in, whether to commit to this cottage or another at the end of
this lease. We were saved by the opportunity to find peace amongst the pines on
this lake after my husband’s heart attack and though I am very grateful and have both loved and relished
the memories made here… leasing and buying are two different things and once the papers are signed…
These past
two weekends we have somewhat scouted the surrounding areas in search of an alternative. One
would think, why so restless as you have just relinquished the final remanants of cardboard from your life, but maybe it’s because I am so unsettled in my
heart about life and where my job and this case is going that I am reaching for
something even I cannot even put into words as of yet. All I know is that when we
walked into a house we have stared at for months from the boat… considered from afar and question in my heart.. an internal
light glowed while standing on its deck facing the water. The owner agreed to most everything we proposed and I suddenly saw myself infront of a wall of windows at my desk writing… winter , summer fall and forever. Sunsets and storms- I watched as they raced acrossed a swollen waterway.
A fireplace than went floor to ceiling housed a woddburner that made my heart sing with its ancient embers. A hearth worthy of a seaman on shore. Dark and stoned I imagined winter in all its glory chasing waves across the cove.
When we
walked outside and finally closed the door to lock the door… there was a
feather shoved into the left hand side of the mailbox! And not just a small feather… a large gray
goose feather that told me I may have finally found my home!
To be
continued…
Brownstonelit's Blog 
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