You guess which one…

Charley wanted me to write about his death, but not until I had been acquainted with his life. The amazing thing is that Charley told me who his killer was up front. The journey of confirmation was for me. He understood I needed to be invested in this and you cannot invest in a thing without some sort of emotional exchange. The trick becomes in the balance… It is so easy to lose your soul in something like this. To trade emotions for information- to bargain with your sanity for want of just one more clue- one more definitive. I recall R telling me this was just the tip of the iceberg. At the time I thought, surely there could be nothing more important than finding out who the shooter was. But R was right… while that was indeed important; it was not the pinnacle of why I was chosen for this. This is a process- for me, for J and for you the reader… to read between the lines and to research our own lives as we research his.
I could tell you I know what OSTRICH stands for and while that will send some into overdrive- it is just a part of the larger puzzle. I could tell you now what MOT stands for, but that too simply adds pages to my report. I can tell you where and what #19 is- where and what #1545 is all about and that those still alive will shudder in their boots knowing these things are no longer secret.
I can tell you now that Charley’s murder had little to do with moonshine. Curious isn’t it??? An ATTD (ATF) agent is “killed in the line of duty” and it had nothing to do with his job, nor even necessarily because of his alleged mistress. I say alleged, because she never loved Charley– she merely played with him. She and her associates were incapable of love, but that is not to exclude her from this mess- for infact- she was just as Charley declared her; a manipulator, the suspected, the key to all this.
I can tell you in the beginning I could produce nothing but bile for this woman. Later as I saw her spend her femininity as commodity, I could muster only pity and shame at her associations. I could not understand how she as a female could be so disconnected from her heart or her integrity- but it was because she had exhausted both. Then in a later reading, R explained that there appeared to be a history of sexual abuse in this woman’s early teens; a father, stepfather, or an Uncle perhaps who forced sexual favors from her at a tender age. While one sin can never truly absolve an individual of committing another; the ‘good girl gone bad’ moniker seems to apply rather aptly here. So while G and her crew of boy-toys as Charley liked to refer to them, were emotionally unavailable, they were however capable of collusion and murder. Later you will learn Charley was murdered over the basest of human debauchery—
You guess which one.

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