Brownstonelit's Blog

12/12/10 at 12:21 P.M.

Don’t you just love synchronicity???

Angel Numbers denote all the number sequences above, 121, 210, 122, 1 and encourage me to support positive thoughts for manifestations of the highest possible rewards for my faith.

Last night sleep was fitful and I would have written myself into slumber, but I could not get past my own angst to do so and all within this bedroom were so tired and in need of uncompromised rest. Yet he came to visit… in a dream. Conversations and conclusions being shared- books being packaged for a long trip.

The sky is blanketed with clouds that, thick and low are tinged with the loveliest shade of charcoal gray and I am eager for the ambience they bring. Last night I sat and wondered what had happened to the magic of my childhood. Lost amongst my adult endeavors, I longed for the gift of innocence. While the cacophony of Christmas carols and colors ambushed from every conceivable angle…the rustle of theatre patrons both young and old played underscore as they scurried to and fro in aisles… I should have been in absolute delight and yet I could not rise above myself to find the joy.

So this is my Christmas this year? Lives once filled with the wants and needs of tiny folk that consumed your every momentum… weaving from their omnipotent joy the inner calm that makes this season bearable to those too old to remember how to fabricate the miracle of imagination. While downtown last eve, I watched freckled children and young parents eagerly rushing about- sweaters twisted and mittens dangling… I watched young lovers pace the streets with winter’s first blush abut their cheeks and envied their chaotic travels. So lost of late with all the rigors of holding fiscal walls together for the future, I have lost the art of living within the moment.

They encouraged me to stop in my steps and breathe deep.

Vacation only days away, I continue to paddle amidst rolling waves of change that threaten to capsize my small boat of assurance and I grow weary of treading water as I work so hard to reach the solid shoreline of the New Year. Yesterday’s plea went out to Charley and the cosmos in earnest. I cherish my husband and stable of furred friends as constant companions and while I treasure their commitment and comradely existence, I remain stalemated by posturing; my future hanging in the balance of others evolutionary ledgers. Minus grown children, proximate siblings and deceased parents, the circle about my tree feels broken and even though I am newly reconnected to my parents through Charley… I yearn for the tangibility of an earthly hug from them all. Bring it back Santa. Whatever it was that was hidden in the bottom of my stocking that made me smile… whatever brightly packaged serotonin that was once tucked underneath my tree… whatever inspiration sleigh bells and twinkling lights once spoke to me…let me find it there again this year for I am in need of their magic.

With heavy heart I called out to the stars that hung above my decorated door last night asking for a new way to believe. Asked that they help me find the joy of purpose and the reward of patience and faith that I have not lost another year to mindless folly. Once again the angels heard my prayer, brought no doubt by courier of my dearest friend.

Thank you Charley…

Like metaphorical snow flakes from the heavens, new information has drifted down, that I might have more to ponder. Though I was close on the dates, I believe now that Jessica died on or closer to July 11th, 1966. Both she and Roxanne worked at the same club together and served these 4 men in flannel their drinks. But there is more…
December 17th will indeed a day of interest and this case is in for another twist. Another twist that will perhaps explain further why Grim was so adamant about trying to get Charley’s wedding ring off his finger the night he was murdered. That helps explains the blood splatters on his curled fingers in the crime scene photos. Too much blood painted on your sleeves and your hands, Grim? Was your raincoat not large or long enough to hide your sins? Silly fool… Is that why you had to leave the scene and return later? Just like your counterpart? You both had to flee…one to take a bath… the other a shower… but both to rinse away the blood of an innocent man? Do not think that the darkness on that road that night granted you protection. Eyes from another realm can see all your miss-steps and broadcasts them from the heavens. What was the real reason you wanted his ring so bad? Was it for G as token of your affections- or for your trophy chest? Was it to try and promulgate the theory that Charley was leaving home- was this for that, that you wrung his fingers to and fro in an effort to remove his fidelity? Was the tiny ad for another place of residence another part of your planting? Did you really think that he would give to G in death what he would not give to her in life??? A home… a hearth… a wedding ring?

Hazel? Would you like to weigh in on this?

This entry was posted on December 12, 2010 at 6:45 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.