How do you know?

8/25/11

Ok, so yesterday was kind of a bummer for some of you, but then for me it was a day of massive epiphanies that just kept flowing with every stroke of the metaphorical pen and as much as I wanted to share… I simply could not. No offense meant. You just need to understand this is part of my process and while I often like to believe I am in control of what comes through- that’s just not true. Yesterday was a huge day in regards to timelines and segues and so while I cannot publish here, know well that they have been duly noted and appropriately applied. Now onto this blog!

Yesterday was a long day that included a 12 hour work day and an hour commute both to and from. As my scenery is awesome once home- I don’t mind, but on long days it makes for droopy eyes late at night behind the wheel. Approaching the last 20 minutes of my leg, I hit an intersection of a tiny town that has a church on the northern side of the block that tends to have curious verbiage posted on occasion.

The last occasion that spoke to me was the one that said, “What are you waiting for? He needs you now!” Of course when placed in tandem with my mental conversation with Charley at the exact moment I previewed it… I knew it meant I should start writing! I heeded its warning and did, just as it had instructed. Now comes the information that it held last night!

With the radio station drifting in and out and no cell service to speak of… I was eager for entertainment to keep myself from driving off the road. As I approached the stop sign for that intersection I saw a pair of headlights coming from the north end of the block and decided I would let them pass before entering and making my turn south towards home and my warm, comfy bed! The car slowed and without signal made an abrupt turn onto the street just before the intersection and annoyed but not angry- I made a comment about his inability to use proper signaling and stuck out my tongue. (It is amazing the things one will do for entertainment when left alone in a car too late at night!) Anyway, as I started to turn my attentions back to the intersection and my approach, I noticed the church sported a new message on its sign.

Now my dear readers, you know me well enough so it shouldn’t surprise you that this random saying meant to provoke thought for the masses, posted by a person who has no knowledge of my existence… did so because this message was directly intended for me! Ready?

“Make the call now!”

What? You don’t get it?

Well… at 11:43 at night neither did I! I must have sat at that intersections for four minutes laughing. What the hell was that supposed to mean to me? What call? To who and about what? And furthermore, who the devil was I gonna call at that hour of the night? Once merrily through the intersection and on my way home I pondered the sign further. It was too random, to be random… if you catch my drift? When messages make absolutely no sense what-so-ever, I know they are most definitiely meant for me and I was right!

I finished my ride in silence and exhausted, pulled into the drive- noted the time and laughed…12:12 PM. Charley was an idiot- but I enjoy that kind of humor so I baited him. You let me know who I’m supposed to call at this hour of the night and buddy- I’ll flat out do it! With that I put my key in the door and went inside. Ten minutes later, I checked my emails… nothing there, so I winked at my 8×10 friend and whispered, “Nice try buddy, but you got nothin! No messages… and it’s now several minutes after midnight. Goodnight.”

Satisfied I had the upper hand, I smiled kissed him on his cheek and bid him peaceful dreams. Too bad he did not wish me the same! Teeth brushed, face scrubbed I plugged my phone into my office plug and made my way for the bedroom… all the while rationalizing that if there was an emergency- they could reach me through my husband’s phone in the bedroom on his nightstand. Ever so quiet I slipped into bed and juggled tails and legs of 4 dogs before making solid contact with my pillow. I closed on eye and then the other- checking first to see if he was going to make a persoanl appearance and when no shadows presented other than clothing and furniture, I tried to commit to sleep.

As a mother, one cannot rest if one senses that someone might need you in the middle of the night and you cannot be reached- especially in my case with the middle child. To ease my concerns, I rolled over and asked my darling husband if he had his phone turned on and he drowsily replied, “Yes… but I think I left it in the car.”

Great!

I rolled over telling myself that things would be fine- that no one would have an emergency just because I did not have a phone nearby- that I could sleep one night without a phone by my bed… WRONG! Every time I closed my eyes I heard phantom ringing and feared the worse. After four or five minutes I could not close my eyes and so went and pulled my phone ½ charged and crawled back into bed. No sooner than I had done so- than a text came through from a person I had received information from before who I had recently contacted for more information.

The text read:

“…I’m working midnight shifts… if you’re up and would like to talk… call now.”

Still think I’m crazy?! I did too for about 13 minutes before Charley and his message from the church- “Make the call now!” drove me insane! Now well past midnight, I gathered myself in a ball, grabbed glasses and phone and with housecoat and a cold cup of coffee went out on the porch to stare at the lights on the lake and gather till after 1:30 in the morning!