Brownstonelit's Blog

I am confused today…

Grateful to have spent time engaged with retired ATF agent and author, I had hoped for some sort of revelation… some hint or another clue embedded within the conversation, but no.  When I told my husband so on the drive home, he said “You’re maxed out already! What more do you need to write the book? You have enough clues, enough information… just finish it.”

I said, “I know… I just want to be sure of some things.”

Two blocks later I passed a church sign:

“A word from God-confidence.”

I thought perhaps once again it was meant for me. When I got home, I also looked at arecent list on a realtor’s site. My yellow hpouse has suddenly been listed again and my intial feeling was one of betrayal. Now another $20,000.00 higher than the week before with my proposal… I am curious what God has up his sleeve. Tired of job related  stress and uncertainty all over my personal map, I am tottering on the edge of faith.

Why do I do this? Why do I get my hopes up and then slog my way through disappointment after?

Confused by what God is trying to teach, I sometimes grow weary of his lessons. On one hand her tells me to be happy with what I have and on the other he says, strive for more. Why ask for silver when you can achieve gold?

Ok… maybe it wasn’t God who talked about the gold, but somebody did. I ‘m not asking for gold… just a yellow house? Is that too much?

This entry was posted on September 16, 2011 at 11:28 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.