11/8/11
Can’t help thinking about Roxanne today. I know R says sometimes victims don’t want to be found…that they don’t want their families to know how they died or what involvements or associations brought them to their death and I can accept that as an individual, but as a mother, I’m having great difficulty with that.
Your favorite clock dropped off the dresser in my office on the floor in front of me yesterday, Roxanne and I know it was you because there was no other reason for it to fall. And Saturday, one of you was in my office with me while writing because my little white Westie went crazy following something across the room’s ceiling.
I have been thinking about you a lot lately. Today I am studying about the effects of water on skeletal remains and how to distinguish between antemortem, perimortem and postmortem trauma. And with each sentence I want to say, “I’m coming Roxanne. I’ll be there soon. I will find you and bring you home.”
I do not know if this is your wish. I know you fought with your parents. I know they may have even kicked you out of the house at a tender age…but there are people who love you. I love you sight unseen. My heart aches for the likes of you and Jessica as I have girls of my own and mistakes are something we all make and try to survive.
Your chance to alter your life and survive your mistake was eclipsed by 4 evil men…2 who still walk upright, though not righteous. I’m doing my homework to serve you all better. Charley, the Mot… Jessica and Roxanne.
If you want to be found Roxanne and Jessica… if you wish to be held and comforted and brought back home…help me. If not, just let R know so that I might simply place a small flower at each of your places of rest and let you all move forward in your evolutions.
But think before you choose. While you may wish for your deaths to remain anonymous, and your remains unclaimed–those who love you need closure for their earthly evolutions. And even more?
I need to do this- for my closure. It will be my way of erasing the 31 minutes I was late for my mother’s death…one minute at a time. With you 4, I can cut down my debt to 27 minutes. One minute for every murder I solve.
With love,
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