It also records something else…

3/20/12

Today is the Spring Equinox… meant for endings and new beginnings and it is. While relationships and personal portraits wax and wane for some, there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon that new things and nothings may be just what the doctor ordered. In the meantime, we must prepare ourselves and take the time to look deep within to see what works in our lives and what does not. Those things that bring us to our knees; our doubts, our fears, our angst’s and our excuses for not living our dreams must be dragged to the curb and left out for the garbage trucks to pick up and take away.

I have learned in this last move that I carried things with me for fear that I would someday need them and be found without. It was a tremendous weight; the extra furniture, the extra bedding and sheets, superfluous paintings and knick knacks…things and stuff, stuff and things that bind us to the past and to people who not longer grace our lives. Now I look around in this new smaller space and think; I have everything I truly wanted for myself and am surrounded by the most favorite of the favorite. I have my family, my dogs, my paintings, my books… a fireplace, a desk, a view and a purpose. It feels good to live smaller- think bigger and I recommend it to everyone. What are you waiting for? Stop wasting time and wasting your space in life. Live in a smaller footprint, but make a bigger impact!

School has begun again and I am pressed for time. When it comes to the book, I dabble- waiting for something to happen I cannot put my finger on. When it comes to Charley…I know he is still with me. Hazel remains solid and stable at his side. The MOT somewhat elusive. The shooter is till washing blood from his hands. G? She has made her appearances and has little left to say, I fear. As for my dear, Miss M? I miss her and wish she would drop by as I found her quite a character; carefree and engaging. As for Roxanne? She is my constant companion these days. I can feel her beside me and I long to hug the shoulders of that child and tell her I will bring her home soon. Jessica still circles the camp, close but not as close as Roxanne- ‘but I am here for you too,’ I tell her and smile.

Life has been full of disappointments and abrupt endings of late and as I help my own girls ride such rifts in their affairs, I reflect on these two young women and wish to bring them inside the fold. They could have been mine… they are now mine, and I will not leave them forgotten and alone. I cannot. It is something inside me that needs to gather and protect such orphans. Roxanne took R by the hand the other day and took her under water…then two days later she brought to my attention an interesting photo.

The 1970’s were my Baby Boomer years. Great music, great adventures, ridiculous fashions and hideous glasses that everybody and his brother wanted to wear. You know, the big yellowed egg looking things. Like tinted aviator glasses on steroids, men in silk shirts and pleated bell bottoms wore these above lap dance mustaches they thought sexy. Do you remember those days? That’s why I love photos. They capture us in the most vulnerable or bodacious moments of our lives. Silly moments when we smile for the sake of smiling… for the sake of saving memories, for the sake of chronicling our family and friends, for the sake of work ID’s for security reasons…for the sake of fun, for the sake of sadness.

Photos for every facet and fancy of our lives…a chance to chronicle our evolutions in Kodacrome. They are also a way to record the evolution of features; from toothless grins to geriatric grimaces. From the color of our eyes to the color of our hair, the blush on our cheeks and the peeks of our wrinkles! It also records something else…scars.

Scars received from the hands of innocents as they fought back.

Have a nice day, Grim.

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