7/20/2013
Yesterday I talked about deadlines…
Two years into this investigation we were shown the date of 7/21 as a day on a calendar circled, with the word ARREST in red, raised and scrolling atop the calendar page three times. Each year I have worked and waited with anxious patience (I know that is a paradox…) to hear something from Valdosta about an arrest…a confession…a plea bargain… an anything!
Today I spent the day doing everything and anything to keep my mind off the fact that it was 24 hours before my faith wold either be validated or I would be a fool for another year. Curious enough, a film I wanted to watch did not record the first time at 8:00PM- but lucky for me it came on again at 9:45PM. Tired as I was, I decided to stay up and watch to till the end and now I know why…
One of the last lines in this film was in response to someone who at the last minute, turned down the job of a lifetime…a job that would have brought them both fame and money and the dream they had been chasing their entire adult life. When asked why- the character said, I suddenly realized it didn’t seem that important anymore. The other character smiled, as he was in love with her and did not want her to leave… but I digress. His response to her was this:
“There are more tears shed by prayers that have been answered, than by those that have not.”
The woman looked him in the eye, smiled and said, “Quoting Saint Theresa?”
Saint Theresa is the patron saint of all writers. Saint Theresa is my patron saint.
Is it possible that I was meant to spend an entire evening watching this show, just to hear the last 20 words of the story? The message was obviously meant for me. So, Friday my radio spells out the word FAITH. Tonight the universe tells me that perhaps the unanswered prayer is better than answered and I am almost too tired to care anymore. So here at 11:55 PM, on July 2oth… just 5 minutes from my long awaited miracle…maybe it’s not important anymore if somebody gets arrested for killing Charley. Maybe in the end, this book wasn’t supposed to be about that. Maybe the message of divine forgiveness and contact with those we love who are no longer corporeal is the bigger message and that was all this journey was supposed to be about. Now just 3 minutes before July 21, 2013 I must learn again that I have no control over what happens with this story.
I have written the book- given all the evidence that can be gotten without further assistance from the law and can literally do no more than what I have already done. In the end I have kept every promise made. I promised Charley I would help solve his murder and I have. Can I prove it? READ THE BOOK! I promised myself I would write his story and I have. Everything I promised I would do, I have done and I should be proud of the dedication and the tremendous work and the purity that went into it.
It is now midnight…July 21st and while I am almost too tired for faith, I must believe that all this was for something.
Good night…
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