4/20/11
You know when things happen… things like meetings get postponed, or people you wanted to see are suddenly unavailable and you get disappointed and discouraged, but you think to yourself—Hmmm….
Is it something I have done? Or haven’t done? Or maybe…
Could there be another reason why?
Why in the scheme of things after such hard work, would this happen?
So you calm yourself and rationalize by saying, there must be a reason why. And so you begin to search the heavens-thinking of all the possible reasons the universe would go out of its way to forestall such an important thing??
Then you stand back, take a deep breath and say to yourself… What was I trying to achieve in the first place? What have I asked of the universe that has not been shown to me yet? And so you begin to ponder the many holes that still need to be plugged, and then… The universe smiles upon you and miraculously you see the divine intention!
The delay was for a specific reason!!
It was because something else needed to happen first! Maybe something that you really hoped would happen before, but didn’t. Maybe some information that you tried to get, but for some reason were prevented from retrieving. Or, a sense that someone you desired to hear from would reach out to you with information they had held back before? So you open to the universe and say- send me a sign! The universe responds… be patient… be patient.
And so you wait…patient and confident that the universe knows best.
Well, I have waited. And indeed, my intuition was right.
The universe knew what was missing and the universe has now done its best to provide it.
Each day on my long ride to work, I must pass at least 1000 cows and horses grazing in pastures, embroidered by fences of every kind. However, there is one particular pasture that has begun to stand out from all the others. And it stood out one day because of two things; a horse that reminded me of my dear Cheyenne and a memorial sign for someone who must have died in a car crash recently.
So there, with the vision of my old horse and a photo stapled to a fence post… I found myself captivated by the irony. The night before I had been going through old files of this case.The reason this photo caught my eye was because, she is a young female- pretty, long blonde hair, blue eyes and a genuine smile. But it was more than just because she was a girl and the implication tragic. There was something about her that felt familiar. I knew we had never met, as I do not know a single soul in the area. Still… it was clear she was reaching out to me, as if we knew one another. Odd as this may sound, it wasn’t a here and now kind of recognition. There was something in her smile and the way the eyes followed me as I passed by. I whispered I was sorry for her loss and in doing so… it hit me. It was that look. A look of pleading- a longing… a sense of helplessness that hid just behind the glint of the cheerleader smile that said- “I need to talk to you. I have a message for you. ”
Again it bothered me that I have naught the gift of R to speak with the dead, but just the same… I promised I would listen to her story, if indeed she wished to make contact somehow. Her look made me mentally rummage through recent files, emails… and in my reverie, I connected her to another young, beautiful, well appointed blonde who met with early death… Roxanne.
I cannot tell you the countless times I have asked both she and Jessica to share more information with me. I know that their hearts are heavy with loss and their souls uneasy with the means by which they were silenced. The “4 in flannel” know how… but they are not the only ones now.
For a while I was certain of 3 of the 4 and questioned the definitive identity of the 4th.
But the universe brought her back to me for a reason.
She of long, blonde hair and Southern style.
She with the small white dog and the eyes of blue.
She with the necklace in a V.
She who drown, without water in her lungs…
“How is that possible,” you say?
Getting uneasy, Grim? I would be. Roxanne has finally found her voice!
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