8/15/11
Another
episode begins for Charley and so too for me. I can feel him beginning to pull
away. There is a lull now. When I speak, he seems to take more time in
answering. When I call for a sign or information, he is busy off somewhere
else. It’s like when your best friend gets accepted into another college and
you know that what you have shared will always be there, but that the new
landscapes between you will begin to separate you–dwindle your significance in
each other’s lives, and well… it’s just plain sad.
Things seem
to be changing about me and perhaps I must change along with them. This is the
end of a 12 year cycle; Mercury is in retrograde and communications are run
amuck. Good intentions go bad, people are hurt… everyone seems confused and
anxious. Perhaps it is time for change and a new slate. Maybe I have been on the
high of discovery for so long, that the lack of streaming intuition feels like
I am being let down. But there are other areas of my life that sense the shift
as well.
Since last
November the cosmos has wanted to set me upon a new path and I have fought it
with whatever intestinal fortitude I had, but maybe that was not worth the
fight as much as I thought. Everything has a season and with the leaves
beginning to take flight here and there… maybe it is time for me as well.
Online classes start for me at the end of September as I have pushed them back
as far as I could to be clear for one more major production and still be
completed with finals before the Christmas holidays. Theatre has been a
wonderful time in my life, but perhaps it is time to let some of that go and
move solidly into my studies and another position that will allow my creative
energies to flow only into just this. I am caught about what my life might look
like without such a title and without such a playground- fertile as it has been
for my imagination, so I will have to think greatly upon this before striking
out. Regardless the decision, know that I have enjoyed it immensely and it has
brought a boatload of wonderful people into my life.
As to the writing…
I have spent hours at this desk, plinking away at my laptop, roaming through
boxes with files and running through cataloged memories to try and seam
together the last bits of this for Charley. It appears that every other day,
they try to show me things I have forgotten… or somehow without hindsight misunderstood. Why only yesterday I was
working and ran through some old stuff and found a session where it was clearly
mentioned that Jessica was tied to Tallahassee.
Now I find this most curious as for two years I have been told to keep my eyes
out for the letter from Tallahassee.
Infact, Charley made a big deal about ‘a letter’ the other week.
“…open the
white envelope…just open it… the answer is coming… did you receive the
letter from Tallahassee?
… it may be old or new… cannot say for sure, but he is insistent…just
open it…”
So what is
the deal? A letter from Tallahassee…
Jessica tied to Tallahassee…just
open it!
Looks like I
will be spending my day going through every white envelope I can find and hope
that somewhere in my hunting, Charley will see fit to come back from wherever
it is he plays these days to talk to me and share a secret!
I miss you
dear friend…
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