Brownstonelit's Blog

2/3/10

Kudos to my husband who has secured another contact whose tentacles may be able to reach deeper within the FBI files for what I need, I am feeling anxious to begin retrieving the fruits of other people’s labor on my behalf. Having now several well placed individuals within and out of the various agencies, whose navigational skill sets far exceed that of my own in such delicate matters; I shall continue to do due diligence in research areas that must be done at my level. Along with interviews and emails, I shall continue to canvass the materials already in my possession. Combing through sheet after sheet of onion skinned paper copy for more missing links in the chain mail of this case becomes a nightly ritual. These are the days that taunt and tease with little or no outside information trickling in. But I know there is great intervention taking place on my behalf and so I will persevere in silent vigil while the clock ticks away and leaves me wanting.
Talk to me Charley… talk to me. I’m here… I will listen.

2/2/10
I was hoping to have received more information yesterday, but my sources are still working diligently to secure contacts for me and it is both my duty and honor to wait upon them. After all, this is for Charley and today as much as I might wish to serve myself, I must be mindful that I also serve him who waits for release. Patience is a virtue I am well acquainted with when it comes to writing a story. A muse’s timing is not always in sync with my own and so I must forever wait at her coattails for her to impart whatever she wishes; knowing that fodder and wisdom alike are but one in the same to her and dispensed with the same expediency or lack there of. Today the sky has decided to cry and it bids me to stand at the edge of burgeoning puddles waiting… for what and for whom I am not certain just yet, but that is the beauty of intuition. It baits without reason and delivers without agenda. And that is the irony about writing a book or writing anything at all. Writers do not write. Rather we channel what is already floating amongst the cosmos. Plucking from the ether what is finally ripe and then with timid intellect and pointed pen splay it open for others to see. My muse does not always appear ready for work, with blue print in hand and dusty coveralls festooned with tools of my beloved trade. Some days she shows up with only rain coat and goulashes, wanting only to play in the rain. Pointing to the heavens and begging me to follow her lead, that I not miss the other things in life I will need to feed fledgling characters without tapping my reserves. Today could be one of those days where it is better to follow, than to lead. To listen to music, rather than to compose it. To read and not to write… to not speak, but listen to what quiet secrets the cosmos may wish to bestow.

2/1/10
Continued…
Sometimes in the course of researching events, I am blessed with experiences I might never have had under other circumstances. Introductions made that would have never taken place, without tenacity of intent and a penchant for resolution. Throughout this project, I try to convince myself that I am following Charley’s journey and that I am merely along for the ride, but not so. I can’t seem to divorce myself from the fact that I collectively empathize with its victims as a partner in marriage, a mother and someone’s child–so all compassionate humanity demands that I pay attention to the landmarks shown me and in doing so, aids me in my many introductions.

Introductions to wonderful people who respond with generous spirit for whatever cause deems most important at the time. Dedicated and knowledgeable people who understand the pain of not knowing a truth, and have the power to change other people’s lives with their insight and access to information I have not. Or at the very least, these people have the power to help those victimized by this tragedy change the perception of their lives and as Anne River Siddons says… “Perception is everything, my darling,” and she is right. I have thought a lot about her words of late, as I have spent some time recently in the Outer Banks. Perception is everything, my darling… or so it seems. My perception of this case will be far different than those who suffered by its intimate hand. I cannot comprehend the devastation of Hazel or the trauma of her children. Nor can I completely empathize with the impact this made on those more peripheral; such as other agents, extended family and friends. Or even from those whose hands I am depending on now to point my way to resolution. Each of us will walk away from this project with a different sense of being. Altered by a man most of us will never have the chance to meet. But the beauty will be that we will have the opportunity to reinvent our own lives, based upon the discovery of his death. Charley will touch more people through this book, than perhaps he might have in his life and I owe it to him to do this right. Thus, I ask for guidance.
The break from current landscape was good for my spirit. I don’t visit places like tourists who trample underfoot what should be relished, or who glance with casual eye what should be savored. Rather, I immerse myself and breathe in as much as possible so that I might find a new world to visit internally when the one I live and work in becomes tarnished by the mundane. I made a mental scrapbook filled with white tipped waves that agitated outside the Ferry like an overloaded washing machine. The island’s shoreline, an undulating coverlet of sand that repeatedly tried to slip away from tawny fingers of wheat like stalks that fought to pull them back into place to keep warm from the winter winds. Ah yes… I do not visit where I go; I live where I go and then move when time bids I return to where I hang my hat. I am not the accidental tourist, but the citizen who cannot always stay. The Outer Banks, even in biting wind and uncharitable welcome brought peace to this wandering soul. Not because of what it was, but because of what it wasn’t.

2/1/10

Spent several days out of town digesting information and retrieving more…
I am grateful to those who have responded to my queries and continue to research on my behalf. I will keep their names sacred until otherwise directed, but know this that your help is valued, your budding friendships cherished and your guidance indispensable.
The facts of the case continue to baffle. This is why I need the court transcripts between Hazel and the American Casualty and Life Insurance Company. In order to decipher the words behind the words of this story. Witness testimonies and photos are beyond necessary for me, as I am a visual person and need the physicality of evidence. The information contained within them will help answer certain questions I still have about what I feel are unsettling logistics of the crime scene. I need to hear their words and see what they saw that night. What time did the first responders make it to the scene? Who and how many not recorded in the print media? I need to pin-point the exact time that the rain began and how far it was from Charley’s home to his office as they speculated he went there first to clear his office of things (the adult tapes)and gather his gun. But first and most paramount, I need the exact positioning of the body at final rest. It is key to everything.

Print media and reports state the body lay in front of the 1966 Ford he was driving. And that’s great, but I need to know what direction his body was positioned. Was the head of the body pointing to the right or to the left side of the car? Was his body in front of the car, but laying face down parallel to or away from the car? I need to know exactly how far from the bumper of the car and how many feet/inches this side or the other of center hood? You see, I can’t seem to wrap my head around how he ended up in front of the car, if in fact the second shot was considered the fatal shot. The crime lab report states they had scrapings of blood from the top right window of the car. Now it does not say windshield; though I suspect that is what they meant. Otherwise I imagine the word ‘passenger’ would have prefaced the location. Even still, if you fire a second shot, considered to be fatal at the upper right hand corner of a 1966 Ford windshield, then how do you make the transition to the front of the vehicle several feet away? Would you not slump to the ground at the very site the shot was fired? In which case the body would have been off the road and into the muddy shoulder as the car was purported as having been pulled off the road and to the right.
Even more confounding is the fact that they were able to retrieve blood to begin with in the pouring rain. One witness said they saw a man squatting at the front right tire? Could this have been the possible location of Charley after the first shot through his chin? Or perhaps some one else at the front right tire positioned as though fixing it; waiting for the traffic to clear to stage the body? An unnamed woman said she saw a man running from the scene into the woods. Maybe the body was not even there at this point as several vehicles were reported as being seen. One being a truck by the first witness early on. Why would I speculate so? Because the body at one point had to have been in a sitting position and out of the direct path of the rain long enough for blood to have flowed undiluted down the back. There was blood found in between the plastic covers of the wallet photos in his leather wallet. Therefore; blood had to have run down his back and pooled above the jutting right hind pocket area, directly below the fatal wound which was up behind the right ear. Occam’s razor theory applied again…There is no other natural way for it to get there than by sheer gravity. So when was he in a sitting position, out of the direct force of the rain?
Again, I am not a detective. I do not watch reruns of every CSI show known to mankind, nor do I profess to have any training other than being a parent. I am just trying to ask the questions that come to my mind when I find gaps in logical thinking. I am hoping to receive some information from two different sources today. I wait anxiously for later this week when I will finally meet with my two experts from CCIRI.
Till later then…