Brownstonelit's Blog

12/31/11

Today is the last day of 2011 and in a way I will be very happy to see it leave and in another…it saddens me. This past year has been a whirlwind of emotion and events with this case and I have been shown the alpha and the omega of its impact on both Charley’s life and my own.

I cannot speak for Julie’s, for there is no way for me to comprehend her loss at such an early age.In this year I have learned to manage my life better, think more clearly and let go of many things and people who no longer suit the path that I am on.  I continue to write the book and I am amazed that even as I have lived it, I am still anxious with every page to find out what happens next. Crazy isn’t it? One would think at this point, that all this would become mere regurgitation, but it is so much more.

With each chapter I discover things I have some how overlooked or never saw from the angle meant.

R said this was about my journey and while it was also about solving Charley’s murder and the conspiracy that followed to cover up the remaining victims…it remains a testimony to an unbelievable connection between Charley and I that was forged in heaven to serve us both. For this I am thankful… for my benefactor who arranged such, I am indebted.

What I love most about Charley, is that he has remained the man he is. Heaven has tempered him in that he has learned to see things from a more loving perspective and in his doing so, he has tutored me in the art as well. Have I accomplished the same as he and at the same level of proficiency? Nah… But he’s had a little more practice than I at being an angel.

What I have learned though is not to be so hard on myself. I am by birth an over achiever. I am by choice a determined soul who will not let go of something until I have served it well or laid it to rest. This case is about to be finished. Have I answered all the questions and tied all the knots? Not all… but certainly the most important ones I believe. The book will be completed soon and then the master task of editing. How much of me do I leave in and how much do I take out?  You say but this is about Charley’s murder and it is…but his murder is now part of my life. And in solving his murder, I am eternally bound to his life as well. We are like to old book ends now… a right and left shoe…a right and left glove. I cannot imagine that even when book is done and justice has been served that his face and his affection will not escort me through each additional adventure the cosmos has set aside for me.

This blog will continue, even after Charley has been served because there are others who need my help as well. This is my divine path now- chosen by those in higher places than I, for reasons I cannot comprehend…but do not wish to disregard. The healing has swung both ways on this one and I will never be able to forget what this journey has meant to me. It brought me from a place I was never supposed to be, to a place I could never have imagined. Yesterday while packing a box, I ran across the last card my father ever gave me. Naturally it was religious in nature, but there was a message init that caught my attention because it was from Jeremiah 3:33.

If you have kept up with this blog you will understand how important both Jeremiah and the numbers 333 are.

It reads…

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

This journey with Charley, with Roxanne, with Jessica and with the MOT- whoever he really was has led me to great and unsearchable things I never knew. I pray that as this year surrenders to the next that I have served you, the reader well and that I have served those victims in this legacy even better. I will continue to write about Charley for a time and then one day… it will cease. I have a new adventure that waits just around the corner and I can hear the victims begin to speak that it is their time. That they are ready to move forward in their evolution. But until I am ready to move forward in mine… they will have to wait just a few months more. I too have things to heal and hands I wish still to hold on to tightly.

You know, I always prayed that it would be Charley who would come to me, just as he has come to R and said, “Let’s us have a chat.” Every day, every night I would be patient…praying that he’d come and talk to me. That it was his choice, or his chore to initiate such. But that was the old me. The new me knows that I no longer need an invitation to engage. The new me says, “Hey Charley, let’s us have a chat.” And now I begin the conversations and it is he that has to catch up!

Happy New Year to Charley…Happy New Life to me!

12/23/11

The hour of Christmas approaches and I have but one gift for you all…

The gift of forgiveness.

While you may often sense a taint of vengeance in these blogs, it is both cathartic and theatrical in nature to keep the flow of energy and determination at full bore. On a more personal note; this has been another crazy year in the trenches and I am both hopeful and grateful for the coming year and pray that it bring grace to my efforts, fruition to this case and justice to those still living in the illusion of safety.

With that in mind, whatever infractions you have committed, or grievances you have harbored against another soul, ‘tis the season to purge yourself of such negativities and let them go. Just like shoes we can outgrow places, people and situations. It’s ok to move forward and let some things stay behind… but leave only kindness in your wake.

Apologize for errors and forgive those that have befallen you and move through your holiday with a lighter heart and a cleaner slate.  Welcome the New Year with intentions of real change. Become the you, you were meant and do not allow the comfort of misery for others to steal your thunder! Let those things and those people who no longer support and guide who you are becoming or returning to… find another path other than yours.

Let go of the old and ring in the new- but this time mean it! Sing if it makes you happy…eat and drink if it brings you joy, but be judicious in your exuberance and know that it must be balanced with equal amounts of exercise and moderation! Experience life in ways you thought were only left to your youth. Be 16 again in your heart, if that was the best you ever thought you could be!

Do not let habit rule your heart, but let your heart rule your habits!

Breathe deep- laugh often and live where your eyes and heart find inspiration! If the water feeds your soul- go there. If mountains arouse you to be bold and daring in our choices- then be bold and daring and choose to live amongst them! Stop making excuses why you can’t follow your heart’s desire and let your heart’s desire show you the way to make it all possible!

Let the world around you feed you.

Vacation in your mind everyday- not just two weeks out of the year!

Become the woman or the man you want others to see.

Write, sing, dance and make love to your future!

Take care of your health, but know that you are more than shoulders, waist and hips!  Love with a full heart and break it often to know the joys and sorrows of love- as this is why we are here!

Enjoy the miracle that you are!

Want less and do more!

Be more and give more…

Angels abound just waiting for you to ask them to join in your journey, so…

Believe! Believe!  Believe! It is only in this belief that miracles happen!

2012 will prove to be the beginning of great works for the many who have heard the call of 11:11 and the incredible number patterns that have haunted the populous for the last few years. To those of you who have experienced this…’tis your duty to share and to plow the way for others to follow.

For those who have touched me greatly this year…

To Charley?

You have my undying gratitude.

To Rachael… you have my undying friendship.

To Julie… share in my joy that your father has found a way to pierce the veil and bring you his love!

To my mother and father? Just promise to continue to love and remember me.

To my family?

Thank you for understanding that it is who I am to write, to question, to cry, to love, to laugh, to fear and to ask you to join in the doing the same.

My wish for you dear readers?

That you wake up everyday next year and say to yourself…

“I’m so great, Santa Claus believes in me!”

Believe in yourselves and something larger than you are and your joy will match your efforts!

Merry Christmas readers… save a snowflake for me!

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12/18/11

I know you want more…

More information, more gore, more clandestine scenarios and ethereal visions and visitations…and yet all I have to offer you is quiet reminiscence and unending efforts to bring this book to fruition and this case to a successful end.

Ok…you win!

Guess what is happening on January 14^th?

You’ll never guess!

Until later then…

12/15/11

Have you ever seen something as a natural segue, or a divinely ordained path only to follow through with chasing it and having the journey prove to be not only less than you expected- but completely off the mark from where you thought it might lead?

Several years now into the 11:11 path for my life, I have tried to keep in tune with what the universe is asking of me and on occasion when I see something placed in my path—I do the prudent thing and follow. For the most part, the effort is validated until recently. Now of course I do not mean all efforts- for soon I will reap the benefit of many efforts in a most glorious and appropriate way and for that I am eternally grateful. But another effort which seemed to follow the natural logistics of my journey, proved to be little more than time consuming detour… so I ask the question; why?

Many times I understand the delineations the cosmos sends me on and eventually with gratuitous patience and inspired epiphanies I concur, but this particular jackleg has gotten me a bit bamboozled. Why would the cosmos send me on such an errand if indeed it retained no merit; either eventual and/or immediate, for its causation? Hmmmm…

Still as I ponder such, I am reminded by calendar that I have a great mission and adventure in store for me that I must prepare for and so I shall redirect my attentions elsewhere; but wished to pause long enough for the cosmos to know that I am trying to follow its lead with whatever blind fidelity can be mustered in this situation and that I question- not with belligerence or annoyance, but with candor and true intent to divine what is meant for growth and what is meant for professional folly.

Aside from the above, I continue to engage with Charley as often is possible and do what I can to correct and appease for any errors made or wires crossed. What I do is difficult, as there is no training for this sort of thing. It is divine intervention at its best and personal intuition at its worst, still… I believe it all to be divinely led and so have little option to dismiss.

Recent insights have begun to fill the coffers of answered questions on more personal accounts and I am happy that those that are in charge seem to be of generous spirit of late and take pity on such feeble accreditations as I possess. That being said, I shall continue to conduct such investigations until I have deciphered the information presented by Miss M and the discrepancy of the RT owner of the silver engraved lighter. Perhaps someone’s first name is not what I thought- or that they went by their middle name instead, or…that there was a new player amongst the old that Charley has yet to edify me about.

In any case… a feather was spotted the other day and it brought a great message to both R and I, and so I look forward to the New Year with great hopes that it will prove to be the beginning of a bold new adventure!

Talk to me Charley…

12/11/11

Charley says there is one discrepency.

Go to the receipt- go down to the third item. He presents the letters RT.

The third item on the receipt from Morris Pawn Shop in Valdosta dated October 6th, 1966 is a silver engraved lighter he bought for three dollars.

Miss M told me the lighter belonged to Albert Einstein. Charley now says it belonged to RT.

Hmmmmmm… another set of intials for me to parse?

Maybe… just maybe things are not as over as I thought they were!?

12/8/11

You know it was just about this time last year when I found out about Maxwell and the railway moonshine and the man with the bloody hands. Silly to get all nostalgic about such a thing as murder and yet…So little time left in this year and things are finally coming together and beginning to pick up pace. For that and so much more I am grateful. Classes behind me for this semester, I am still pulling a 4.0 GPA and the hard work and grueling pace are beginning to pay off.

Curious about the fourth in flannel I have waffled a time or two in my conviction in an effort to get it right- but have just received confirmation while talking with R that a name that continues to post in my emails has been sent as sign that I have finally nailed my 4^th in flannel for certain. Don’t you just love how this works?

This is very good as I continue to work on the book and want all the names to reflect the appropriate individuals. The book is so interesting and as I work on it each day, continue to be caught by the life I have been called to live. Who could have possibly known three years ago the path that has been chosen for me? Not I, said the little red hen…and Grim? What say you?

I pose this question and suddenly the image of the Wicked Witch of the West comes to mind as she writhes and wriggles into a puddle of black and heaving smoke upon the floor.

“Oh what a world, what a cruel world! Who would have thought that you could have destroyed such wonderful wickedness as me? Ohhhhhhh….” and then with a rush of air and a final puff of smoke she is gone. Is that how it will end for you Grim? With a wail and a final puff of smoke, will you too melt into the floor and be gone with no one to mourn your loss? Perhaps I can borrow Albert Einstein’s lighter from Charley to light your broom stick end this season to speed the process along. How bout it Al? “Wanna play with a little fire, Scarecrow?” Oh sorry! That’s right… someone stole that lighter in the bag from the Morris Pawn Shop and never returned it. Was that you G when you came back to dump the coffee grounds on the kitchen floor? Or when you stole the PO Box key? Or the Shooter when he searched Charley’s car that night with the man with the bloody hands?

Or…how about the farmer in the dell? How bout you use  that cheese cutter of yours on someone else’s arms? Hmmm? You used it on Charley? Maybe you could use it on one of the other two in flannel still alive. Too bad the pipe smoker is dead, huh? He could have furnished the puff of smoke and probably financed the whole thing! Think I don’t know who  the 4 in flanel are now???

Scared?

You should be…

You are one sick bunch of men, ya know it?

Happy Holidays boys!

12/6/2011

Today proved that Dec. 17^th was significant. Pray little readers, pray.  Pray for good things to happen. Pray that the winds of fate have now turned and that those who have lived long and lived comfortable now know their days are numbered…

And while you are at it… say a small prayer for a specific advancement for myself. It will aid in what I do for Charley and for those to come.

I know this all sounds so cryptic… but sometimes that cannot be helped.

Until later then…

12/3/11

Remember when Charley said November 17^th would be significant?

It was.

12/1/11

I was reminded about faith as I walked through my living room tonight, pondering current budgetary pressures that place people’s sense of financial and personal security in danger…wondering  if a door is being closed, so that another might be opened.

“You’ve got it all wrong. Seeing isn’t believing… believing is seeing.” she said.

Was this message for me? Was this the answer to my query- to hold on- to have faith?

And so I pray…

May Santa bring me extra faith this year. I have a funny feeling I’m gonna need it.

Charley- do not fail me now! Trust… trust… trust…have faith.