Archive for April, 2013

Everything changes…

April 28, 2013

4/28/2013

I found a message today, tucked inside another message and also inside the number of blogs that have now been posted while reviewing this case. As of the last post, in which I meant to casually walk away, I have posted 555 messages to you. According to the Angel Numbers book- 555 signifies, ‘Huge changes are rumbling throughout your entire life… stay positive so that these changes will be as positive as possible…’

So what did I do? I feared change and began to doubt. How foolish of me to think that God would ask four years of my life and take me on the most fantastic journey of my life, so that I could hide such under a bushel basket of uncertainty and fear of the unknown. And uncertainty and fear of what? Everything that I have written has been within my own experience and who has more authority about my experience than me?

No one.  Just as I cannot presume authority over another’s experience- only over my reaction to that which is shown or taught to me.

So that begs the question yet again.

Why on Sunday are we brave and boast that God-our Source is all powerful and yet on Monday morning we recant and He becomes nothing more than a puff of smoke and wisp of wind to be contemplated and feared?  For who would place the universe’s fate in the hands of a puff of smoke and a wisp of wind? A fool… or someone who understands that the puff of smoke or the wisp of wind exists only at the behest of the Source from whence it came?

The universe is more than we can possibly understand, and just because we may sometimes see ourselves as limited- we should not project that onto the universe as well. I am speaking to myself here, as I have sat back and squandered a precious gift out of momentary fear of what might happen. My fear is an apparition. Something I created to excuse myself from trusting in the universe and my individual experience.

This book, this story  is based on my experience within in it and has become a matter of faith for me now. I must relearn to trust the process and myself, and the reason it was brought to me in the first place. I am a writer. It is not only what I do, but who I am and to do and be less is a betrayal of the gifts I have been given. So, in matter of days I will turn 55. I will be 55 and 555 signifies change and for want of becoming stagnant within the confines of my own life, I must follow these new winds to where they will and trust that the universe has greater peripheral vision than the myopic purview within my own.

We humans are fools. We believe that if we build a wall, we can prevent the tides from toppling it. That if we build a bridge, we can gap any distance without additional support. That if we contort the truth it somehow disappears completely. That what can be delayed, can always be controlled and prevented. But that is a mere charade. In the end, water will seek its own level and each one of us our own path. We are but a moment in each others lives for the connection of soul, the introduction of lesson, or the segue to another. I can accept this as part of the plan. Each story has a beginning, a middle and an ending- so too with our paths.

Everything changes…our lives,  our thoughts, our perceptions and our goals. Because another’s no longer matches that of our own, does that negate the value of our own personal experience, or our own goals and destinies? No…it merely means that a path has been divided-separated by our individual experiences  and that we need to respect and honor each path.

And so, try this day to gracefully acknowledge another’s path, while standing firm to continue within the guardrails of your own- knowing that you must honor the lessons brought you both.

As I approach a new month and a new year in my life, I must concede that this April has indeed been everything it was foretold to be; tumultuous, dividing and meant for introspection and preparation for the next chapter in my life .

An early Birthday wish for us all. Trust in your own path. Trust that it may not always follow the same arch as another’s and that my friend, is the true beauty of all experience–for the universe delivers us each what we must learn in the time and fashion divined and that can never be the same, for we are each unique and qualified to be the architects of our own lives.

Follow your truth, but never assume it is the same truth as another’s.

Be authentic.

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Gather to yourself…

April 21, 2013

4/21/2013

Alas… the winds of change have begun to turn these pages towards a new adventure and I am asked to find a way to gracefully allow what has been to follow a new course.  Life teaches  that no one person can stand still forever in one place and so as the days begin to warm and the skies to render more blue than gray, so too new life must be allowed to blossom where death and decay reigned for so long. Charley has been kind and afforded me introduction to another adventure and so I must be soon about my way.

The next project will find its way onto these page soon; for segues to new histories and old crimes never ceases and as I am led, there I shall go. Remember this too for yourselves when you feel the tug of something new. The wheel of life continues to turn; one day you are at its top and one day at its bottom, but no matter which station you find yourself- things will always change, for it continues to turn regardless your constitution and what has been must always pass to give way to what will be. Let go of what has been and embrace that which appears upon the horizon beckoning. Never regret — regret is a sign that you have not learned something as you passed that way.

So as you move from one chapter to the next in your life, enjoy your good times and embrace the more difficult as  a way of learning. It is all about the lessons, so take heed of what can be garnered. Gather to yourself the lessons and the memories and squirrel them away to teach yourself the power within your evolution another day when you have forgotten or lost your way.  Learn to let go with gratitude when the winds whisper that the time has come to find another path…another adventure…another way and another mystery to solve —accept, smile, pick up your bag of tricks and follow a new star. The one before you always appears brighter in the sky than the one you leave behind.

No matter what star I follow…Charley will always be there before me, waiting for me to arrive.

Like he told R… we are forever.

I could tell you…

April 14, 2013

4/14/2013

You can feel it… it’s in the air all around me.  A new start and the fresh scent of printer’s ink.

Just a tease. Shall I tell you how the book begins? Can I tell you that it has to do with something I found in Charley’s wallet that tells me where he was and what he was doing just 3 days before he was murdered?

Can I tell you that this bright, shiny little object held a great deal of power? Not just for what it could do, but who it belonged to? That this bright, shiny little object was used by one of the four in flannel, seen by G, but  not in the same way as it was seen by Roxanne?

Roxanne saw it as she was looking up through the murky waves of her watery grave.

I could tell you what it is, but then…you wouldn’t have to buy the book!

To know that I control nothing…

April 13, 2013

4/13/2013

So, today has two number 13’s in it. Significant? Yes…you figure out why.

The 10th indeed brought great things- not all will be shared today for very obvious reasons. One wonderful thing did happen which I can share with you…I became a publisher! I have decide that while it would be fine to go through traditional publishing avenues- those avenues are so clogged these days with indecision and subjective rhetoric that maybe the truth should not get bogged down in other people’s agenda’s and academic and fiscal angst.

Therefore, this web site will soon be listed as: Brownstone Literary Works, LLC.

Am I stoked? You betcha! Why is this the best move? Because most publishing houses today are paralyzed by the onslaught of digital reading. They do not know what to do, so they do little to nothing.  I have not worked for 4 years to do – nothing. Also, they will want to own the rights to my intellectual work. Why? Because if there is a profit to be made…they get to make it.  Say for instance, Grim gets his wish to be in the movie. If I let somebody else negotiate that deal- they get the money and Grim may not get his close-up and that would be a crime! (No pun intended.) Because we all know, I have every intention of letting him get his close-up and take full credit for his actions. Now, in the beginning- Grim was all hot to trot about the idea of a book and a movie deal about Charley. Why? Because he thought he would get to play the hero in it. But, see… that was way back in the start- 4 years ago to be precise, when he thought his status would protect him. Well, we have all learned quite a bit about our dear Grim since then– haven’t we?

We learned that sometimes friends in low places, often have friends in high places. We also learned that tampering with a crime scene is well…Gosh Grim, maybe not the brightest idea you have ever had. We also learned that client/attorney privileges only work if both of you  are still alive. Ouch! Bet they didn’t show you that little nugget of information in the fine print, did they? See, that’s what I love about the discovery process.

The discovery process…what’s that again?

Well, that’s where you screw up Grim, and I get to discover how badly! I just love that part of the equation. But let’s get back to the publishing thing. See, here’s the real deal. If I wait too long- folks will stop reading this. But if they know it might be just a couple of months- or maybe even just a couple of weeks now…Well, that oughta perk them right back up!

Now…somebody from your town once said they felt that many of the readers may not be old enough or smart enough to figure things out the Who’s Who in this directory of murderers. But I disagree. On the contrary- I absolutely count on you all to figure these things out. Why? Because, if I am wrong -you can correct my errors. But if I am right? You will finally know the truth about the people who walk among you. You will start to remember things…piece things together…add up the numbers and look at your history without the rose colored glasses of the lies they all told you – the lie that said folks died from self-inflicted wounds.

Seriously, can you really shoot yourself through the chin once and then through the back of your head one right after the other? Pretty much, one shot would do it. C’ mon, Grim. You insult my readers’ intelligence when you propose that kind of nonsense. Still, he got away with it. You all bought that tub of crap 46 years ago when they first presented it. Did you know that Charley’s DEATH CERTIFICATE still reads SUICIDE? Ahhhh…but this book should change that. In fact, this book should change just about everything.

Now I have said this before and I will say it again… I’m sorry. This book will not be intentionally unkind- but truth cuts both ways. So, I am sorry for the lives that have been changed- the lives that are about to be changed and the lives that will never be changed because it is already too late- they are already dead. That being said; please understand the value of Karma. Karma in and of itself is neither good nor bad- it is merely the universe trying to re-establish a sense of balance. Karma is very much the essence of the sensitive volley between the scales of justice. Each act we commit places a tiny weight on the scale. It is not up to me which side of the scale it has fallen onto- for you see…I have no power. This book is not about power. This book is not about condemnation or absolute admiration for we are all each pieces of one another and share in the contributing weight. What I condemn in another I must therefore condemn in myself and so forth. What I cherish in another is the same fragility which I embrace in myself.

This book is about balance…about loss and gain. It is about a man who died…a man who left behind a wife and a family that have been cursed with the lies about his death that have now been told for over 46 years. The universe has placed me in this exact space and time that I might adjust Charley’s scale, while adjusting my own.

So what is this book really?

This book is my Karma… not just Grim’s.

Surprised?

You shouldn’t be. Think about it. If it is Karma that the ‘four in flannel’ be called out and asked to explain their crimes…why would it not be my Karma to help wield the hand of justice to prompt such?

That’s right. Perhaps in another life I watched an injustice and did nothing and someone died because I did not get involved. Or maybe it was I who was murdered and this is now my Karma to be on the other side and to understand the real peril of getting involved…to appreciate the weight of what I do this day…to know that doing nothing makes me as guilty as those who committed the crime, but to do something places me in the path of criticism and danger. To know that I control nothing but my own actions…that whatever grievance I may have committed upon another in another life, I am now being asked to make amends in this one.

You see Grim…just as Charley and I are forever…you and I are bound to one another throughout eternity for whatever reason the universe has seen fit to anoint. I would not be here to help right a wrong if indeed I had not been on the other end other stick at another time and helped commit one. In this life I have need of learning a lesson left unlearned in the last. Ok, let’s break this down a bit for those of you who like to keep your faith and universal understanding on a diet.

Take for instance, in an Edgar Casing type regression reading; I have learned that long ago I was once one of the pious and self-righteous zealots who persecuted women in the Salem Witch trials…for being witches. I– a woman who embraces all things ethereal and esoteric did such a thing? Impossible you say! Nobody is a greater champion of the God given gift of psychic ability than I…no one more grateful for the connection to those who have passed on…no one who has more cherished this experience which has rocked me to the very core of my being and yet…why else was I chosen?

Who else would be a better person for the universe to have selected to champion a victim than a converted aggressor? According to a reading…in a past life, I may have helped or watched without concern as others were put to death. Others being, people like R. In this life, I have learned now to admire, revere and bend at knee to learn from her wisdom and her clarity in divinity. This is my Karma- to make amends…to tell that community of seers and earth-angels that I- out of ignorance and insecurity in another life made my intellectual and academic faith superior to their gifts and in such a state of evolution naiveté- committed or stood idle as these women were  tortured and and put to death out of fear that it was not I that was special in the yes of God- but they.

Fear is a horrendous act of: False Evidence Appearing as Real.

F…e…a…r

In that life I was fearful. In that life I killed what I did not understand, rather than embrace it. In this life, I have learned to embrace the unknown- the unseen- to have faith. In this life I now seek their guided counsel, desperate like a blind man lost in a great desert- without water-tortured with unquenchable thirst for their knowledge and their peace… I follow their every lead and trust.

All this to say…murder is not the total sum of my experience through this adventure. As always, water will seek its own level. Knowledge will take hold only in the most fertile of minds…truth will balance the scales when you least expect it to and Karma will decide how it is dispensed and the appointed hour approaches.

I am just the messenger… the quill upon the parchment.

Just as the Grim Reaper has been charged as the harbinger of death, so too the cosmos has charged me to be the harbinger of Karma. And that means, my dear friends, that the veil of opportunity for redemption thins dramatically the closer we get to  publication.

That being said, you have been forewarned.

April 10, 2013

4/10/2013

It is exactly 10:10 on 4/10 and the power of the alpha-omega and the new moon will be felt everywhere today. Can you not feel it in the air? A vibration…a titillation…a sense that something is happening behind the scenes? That something huge is about to happen?

That’s because it is!

Stay tuned…

Yesterday…

April 8, 2013

4/8/2013

Yesterday I heard my angel song at exactly 5:55 pm.

In angel numbers that signifies huge changes are taking place…I will have to pay close attention to what the universe has to say today!

Painted on the side…

April 3, 2013

4/3/2013

I continue to wait with baited breath.

Yesterday while sitting at a stop light, I asked the universe about its recent disclosure regarding the long black car and the funeral procession images.

The answer came back swiftly.

Just before the light changed, a sedan entered the intersection and then stalled midway, waiting on another car to make its turn. As I looked up, I saw something I could not believe. Having just posed the question about the information received on Good Friday – the car slowly moved closer  to the middle of the intersection and stalled again- waiting on another car.  It sat there long enough for me to see it in full view… the light turned yellow and it lurched its way through the rest of the turn and sped away.

Painted on the side of its gray door were large white letters that formed the words: GRAVE DIGGER.

Like R says, “You couldn’t make this stuff up if you wanted to!”

Tis the season of repentance… take advantage of it.


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