Brownstonelit's Blog

7/9/10

The shooter had a temper…
The shooter had issues with farm animals- especially chickens…
The shooter had a drinking problem…
The shooter liked to play violent games, like Russian Roulette…
The shooter himself was a victim of a contractual hit…
The shooter may or may not even be dead…but not this case!

For those who are still alive who knew, who know–who participated in the cover-up to clear yourselves…dance nimble and dance carefully upon the head of your pin for the day is soon upon you when you will reap what you sew.

7/7/10

“Karma is a bitch waiting at the widow for her cheating husband to come home…”

This is a line from one of my first novels. It’s a great line and I have to confess in the beginning I was afraid Karma had another name- Hazel; Charley’s widow. I was worried when I started that Charley had done everything they said he had. That he had cheated, but without conscience- that he had walked out on his family without remorse – and that he had killed himself as a final act of adhoc contrition. But things didn’t fit. Too many pieces remained missing- including the usual tell-tale unaccounted for hours or weekends from family radars. Charley may have been wild eyed and flirtatious over coffee- but it is clear that what he felt for “G” on some level was real. What wasn’t clear from the first session was how much or how far he might have gone to prove it. As adults I find we play the fool in love far more often than our teenage counterparts. Is it because we are so much older that the passage of time, feels more like the passage of opportunity?
A fresh relationship is like a bright shiny penny- so light in our hands that we roll it over again and again just to watch it catch the light and dream of the possibilities it might bring. “See a penny pick it up and all the day you’ll have good luck”… or at least until the copper wears thin and the tarnish of time sets in. Then the relationship becomes just another penny that gets lost in someone else’s pants pocket.
Is that what happened to Charley and Hazel? Had Hazel become just another penny? The marriage may have been in limbo, like so many long term relationships tend to suffer when life gets in the way of our living. And it is clear that he had formed a bond with this “G”; a woman who seduced him and then callously led him to slaughter. I’ve looked at her photo so many times to try and see what Charley saw. To find the evil that could allow her to do what she did. The photo I have is one from her High School years. Innocent in Peter Pan collar, she smiles for the camera- but not from behind her eyes and I wonder how the darkness crept in.
While I keep an 8×10 on my writing desk, I have a small photo of Charley I carry with me when I am away from home. The Kodacrome has yellowed and the subject matter is almost lost amidst the shadows- but it is of him on a tractor. It is my favorite because it makes him most human to me. Dressed in faded blue jeans, a casual brown button down shirt open several buttons down- he appears as cool as the evening breeze. The crazy thing is… he is wearing a Fedora and I love that about him.
Now, I have always had a thing about Fedoras. My father wore Fedoras back in the day- and Robert Young of Father’s Knows Best fame wore a Fedora too. I even once thought I met God at a stoplight. He was a handsome older gentleman who smiled sweetly at me on a day when I was at odds with my life. He stopped at the light and just as it was about to change, he looked in my direction- smiled, doffed his hat, then drove away in a light blue Mercury Marquis. Deity can be so fickle… but I digress.

Knowing as much as I do now, I worry about Charley. I worry our Miss “G” holds a small part of his heart still even in death. It is true that we don’t get to pick who we will fall in love with. At home with children was Hazel; overtly self- reliant and steadfast. “G” however was a confused woman, who I believe lacked the ability to truly love. With too many loose morals, too much time and too little competition in a sea of lecherous and lascivious carnivores, I believe she did whatever was necessary to survive and get by. She had no anchor- no internal compass that told her wrong from right. She saw both her heart and her body as commodity and both went to the highest bidder. Charley could not pay the scale…

Love is a continuous polar shift my friends! It defies all magnetic pulls- in love there is no true North. There is only love and when in compromising situations, we must rely on what we can remember is wrong from right. It is a muscle memory of the heart and soul. I do not know if Charley’s memory served him well. If he was as honest in life about his feelings for his wife or for “G”. It may not even matter now. Wherever he is now, “G” is not with him- Hazel is. Should it take death before we can honestly deal with who we are and what we really want out of life? Out of ourselves… or out of those we love?
Think my dear friends… what does you heart muscle memory tell you? Is your love right or wrong?

7/6/10

Did you know that Charley talks in his sleep? Not to you of course, but to others who listen? He talks about all kinds of things… and he has friends. And they talk too. They tell you all about how crazy things were that night. How everybody involved had a chore to do. Some had to manipulate the crime scene- some had to remove pages and pictures from reports- some had to prevent the widow from seeing her husband for two days to hide evidence. Some even had to spread vicious lies, put things in caskets and plant evidence. While others had to break and enter… No, sorry. My bad… no breaking and entering done there! I forgot- why? Because they already had stolen the keys, silly! House keys, Post Office keys- office keys! Why… by the time they finished with their thievery, they may have even had the keys to the Emerald City of Oz for all I know. Isn’t it amazing what immorality and depravity can do for some folks? You take law enforcement officers; promise a little sex, add a little hush money and bingo! You have instant cover-up. I love America- land of the free, the brave and the bought!
Now that’s a logo I’ll bet they didn’t want to see on their billboards!!!

7/5/10
I generated a report for certain… organizations, let’s say. And in doing so, asked a trusted colleague  to preview and if she felt the format was proper. She replied that it was shy one thing. A cover letter. When I explained that that information could be found under the General Overview section; she reminded me that time is precious. That she herself was not a big reader and that she wanted to know everything up front. She said- give it to me  first and give it to me in bullet points.
How ironic, I thought and then later… how apprpriate!
Think about it… bullet points.
Well, immediately it brought completely different kinds of visuals to my head, but then those of you who know me- already knew that was coming! So, in my best self edification I brought the culmination of research and circumstance down to one page of, “bullet” points. I was economical, succinct, brutally honest in my presentation and even more… I was amazed. The result of hard core ground roots investigating, intuitive research and just plain dumb luck …had produced exactly what I had set out to do- resolution.
With the help of many, I believe I have solved the mystery of what happened to Charley that night back in 1966 and in doing so understand now why Charley could not just give me the answer straight up from the start. Oh, that’s not to tell you that he didn’t give out some pretty heavy handed clues along the way… that’s just to say that he refused to give me definitives.
For that I thank him. Because in the end, it really was about the journey of discovery- not for him mind you- for me. He sits now in a place that holds for him another journey. Charley must now learn how to detach from his own life here on this plane. He must accept that his children will now be able to sleep at night, knowing that their father did not leave this world or them, of his own accord. That he was a victim of someone else’s ignorance and rage. That perhaps even, it may have been an accident. That his wife who fought each hour of her remaining life to salvage dignity for them all, can now rest vindicated for the measure of faith and trust she placed in her husband’s memory. You want to know who killed Charley? I could tell you. You want to know how they killed Charley? I could tell you that too. But if you want to know why they killed Charley?

Now…it gets a bit tricky there. You see, I have some facts- some very bizarre explanations and some very outrageous intuitions and if you blend them all, then extrapolate from that blend… you get a disgusting, depraved set of circumstances that will make your stomach roll with uncontrollable revolutions. It is a tale that involves more people now than you can possibly imagine. A tale of two cities… a tale of debauchery and lust… a tale that squandered the lives of so many to protect so few. A tale of greed… a tale of woe and a tale above all else that must be told.

Are the grim reaper and his cohorts in crime squirming right now? They should be…because there’s more! Oh so much more that cannot be written here today. When Charley said this was just the tip of the iceberg- he wasn’t just a-woofing! The Titanic sunk for want of one iceberg… How large would one iceberg have to be to sink an entire city? County? A state perhaps…..?
Until later then.

7/4/10
Happy 4th of July…
Today my husband came home from the hospital. Today I marvel at modern medicine and today I learned that each one of us carries an outstanding resilience that makes us so much more than who we perceive ourselves to be. It is this buoyancy of spirit that places us within this universe as its surrogate power… We may hold the keys, but we are not the creator of those keys.
I have a job for you today… I need homework done by those who live in the Valdosta area. There are those from there who read this, so I have another riddle for you to solve.

What is the connection between the Fraternal Order of Eagles, the Woodmen of the World Lodge in Tifton, Sears and Roebuck company- a watch, a tape and 1966?
Can you guess???
I can!

7/2/10
The longer I remain in this hospital the longer I have the chance to observe human nature at its best. In particular, a PCT named Jessica who has gone out of her way daily to come and check in on my husband and to make certain his care is optimum. Her due diligence and compassionate nature fused with great humor reminds me that as I spend most of my day with my head stuffed in a file and crime scene photos of the most graphic extent- that there are still people surrounding me who make up for the more baser elements of our society. For people like PCT Jessica who serve on a daily basis…
I give great thanks.

7/2/2010
While reviewing my report, I found that I still had questions about one of the folks I interviewed several times throughout this project. Sometimes it is more what people don’t ask or tell you that provides you with the most information. This particular individual provided sketchy information on things he should have known and provided great detail on some things he shouldn’t have. Thus, a red flag the size of Texas went up the proverbial flagpole for me. Curious about this person’s possible involvement and intent, I sent R a message about my quandary.
It came back:
“…I get bootlegging references. Was he a “heavy” man during the time of Charlie’s death? Information presents as him in charge of distributing the alcohol…”

The thing that pisses me off the most is that again, this man like so many others presented himself as someone who could be trusted… some one who upheld the law and did not break it. This is the second time a man retired from law enforcement from Valdosta has blatantly lied to me… At least that I know of and can prove!

Golly… do any of them even recognize the truth anymore? One might be led by their actions to think that they all had something to hide!

7/1/10
First of all, gratitude is an attitude-so, thank you to the surgeons for saving the life of my husband and for all the family and friends who have been beside me throughout this new adventure.
Now onto Charley…
Let me pose a question to you all and comment those of you who care to, or who are unafraid to leave your names.

If a crime was committed against someone you cherished 44 years ago and most of the people involved were dead… but many who knew and abetted the killer were still alive…
What would you do?
Move to re-open the case and prosecute?
Drop the whole thing?
Or would you simply continue in your investigation until you had gleaned everything you felt you could get from such fallow ground; inform the victim’s family and then let them make the decision as to what to do next—even though fruition is the very purpose for which you were commissioned?

It is an interesting proposition, full of moral landmines to consider. Do you implicate people who can no longer defend or deny their actions- knowing they have children and grandchildren who would be devastated by their fatal flaw?

Or do you allow them all; both living and dead to get away with murder? Think. my dear friends. What would you do?
Until later then…

6/29/10

It is times like this that the good Lord reaches down and either grabs you by the scruff of your neck or firmly holds you in his arms. As they just took him down for surgery- the jury is still out! Sunday my husband and I spent the day on the river canoeing. Midway through our 10 mile run down the Broad River- he had a heart attack. With no cell service for the better part of those remaining miles, we could not reach 911 to notify them. With crushing chest pain and loss of breath- he did his best to remain conscious and alert while I was forced to frantically paddle the remaining miles to an awaiting ambulance 4 ½ miles downstream. For the last two days he has told everyone that I paddled like a mad woman- that I saved his life- that I am his hero.
As I sit in the CICU family waiting area, I must confess to you that he is wrong. Yes, I did paddle the last few miles to get him to safety- yes my whistle alerted the paramedics to where we were when they were about to leave thinking the call was a hoax, and yes… I guess you could say that I saved his life. But in a broader sense- he saved mine. Almost 30 years ago he took a precocious 24 year old and brought her safely through motherhood and menopause- taught her grace under fire and the truest meanings of loyalty and love.

I would like to thank him for his patience- his trust- his unfailing love and his warped sense of humor. I would also like to thank him for his forgiveness, for his faith in my abilities and for his unfaltering belief that we were always meant to be together.

One day I hope to prove myself worry of such dedication.
For Don…

6/29/10
For all of you who have kept silent vigil with me each night and read each blog- reading between the lines and speculating as much as I… I give you my gracious thanks. It is not only for Charley, but for you that I do this. I could have written the book and never done a blog- but there is something reaffirming about thinking out loud in this fashion. It allows me the luxury of working through my issues with this case in a more tangible format. It allows you a more intimate glimpse of a murder. I think better in ink- process better in verbiage. It is integral to the compilation and my personal comprehension of events. Tonight however, I am distracted by a series of events in my personal life. My husband had a heart attack yesterday and tomorrow he will go through open heart surgery- all this while I sit at his bedside, consoling and encouraging him- watching him turn in his slumber even as I write about another man in my life-Charley.
Like Charley on October 8th, 1966 – I do not know what tomorrow will bring me. I do not know how I will see myself in the next light of the full moon. Will I be wet nurse to my mate or widow to the world? Who can know for certain how any of us will be seen the next time lovely luna disrobes for us. For the moment, these things are certain. He is here. I am here. Charley is never far from my side these days and the brief is on its way…

What more can you ask of the gods than that?